I’m going to keep this simple: If you intend to lose weight, you have to know why. Correction … you must feel why. Let me explain:
Feelings are an essential part of our internal guidance system; they lead us to our goals. Willpower and discipline, alone, are not enough. Our success depends on something even more powerful than simply exercising more and eating less, something we often overlook in our fitness quest: desire. (Remember in Rocky when Rocky’s trainer, Mick, would shout at him, “You gotta want this, Rocky! Otherwise he’s gonna knock your head off!” Questionable use of fear, sure … but right idea.) Desire provides the fuel to manifest all our dreams.
Sure, we all want to succeed. The problem arises when we suppress our desire, bury it inside. (In our culture, we generally avoid strong feelings of any kind.) Unfortunately, and despite discipline and good intentions, our emotional disconnect causes us to lose focus and fall short of our goals. Conversely, when we allow ourselves to actually feel our deep longings (like our pal Rocky), we are drawn to our goals, like magnets. What once seemed difficult becomes easy. Care to try?
Let’s say you want to lose 15 pounds (or tone your abs, or run a 5K). Write down your specific goal, or share it aloud with a friend, beginning with, “I want ___.” Next explain why you want it (i.e., “because I want ___”). Now explain why you want this second item. Keep repeating, as in this example:
“I want to lose 15 lbs. … because I want to be toned and trim … because I want to look great in my clothes … because I want be more attractive to my spouse … because I want to feel desirable and loved … because I want to enjoy life, feel radiant and happy ….”
Continue until you feel strong emotions surface. (Hint: Our deeper desires are accompanied by obvious bodily sensations — maybe even a few tears. It’s all perfect… we’re feeling, now!) Final step: Close your eyes. (Not yet… you won’t be able to read the other instructions, if you do!) Imagine yourself three weeks from today… three weeks closer to your goal…. How does “future-you” look and feel? Imagine yourself six weeks from now… two months, etc.
During each stage, picture yourself becoming trimmer, healthier — whatever you’re hoping for. See yourself smiling and confident, physically active, enjoying your life…. As you visualize these scenes, what are you feeling now? Excited? Lighter in your body? Hopeful? Happy?
Congratulations! You’ve found your fuel for success. Welcome it! Your longing is the motivational juice propelling you toward your goals; it will get you to the gym on cold mornings, make you choose stairs over elevators and fruit over chocolate — and joyfully so! Get in touch with these feelings every day, and you will create the very life you desire.
So tell me, Rocky, what do you want … and why?
Need support? Jim Readey is a professional-level yoga teacher and holistic counselor, who shares with individuals and groups the practical wisdom of yoga and meditation. Reach him at yogaphile@yahoo.com or (603) 224-2183, or visit www.nhyogacenter.com.
Hi Nikki,
Wonderful to hear from you. It sounds like you’ve got it all worked out. If your conclusion has led you to some authentic relief and/or joy, I say, “Way to go!”
If your conclusion falls more into the category of “comedy relief,” on the other hand, I’ll add two more comments:
1. Thank you for your humor … I’m sure a lot of folks will get a good laugh from your words.
2. If you’re wanting to explore a little further, and are open to some unsolicited thoughts from me …
… You might consider that it’s the shoulds (need-to’s, have-to’s, ought-to’s) we continually tell ourselves that cause us the most discomfort. It’s not the weight. In fact, it is usually not anything outside ourselves that bothers us the most — we are creating an exquisite, internal experience of “suffering” all by ourselves!
When we step back and view just what we are doing, from a distance, it really is quite absurd.
So … now that you’ve decided what you “need” (to stop weighing yourself), you are in a perfect position to ask the question, “What do I want?”
Living this question leads us to our most profound joy. (You can just ask your aunt to verify this, if you find it hard to believe an “almost uncle.”)
Wishing you the deepest
Peace & Joy,
Jim
Hi Jim,
I was hoping this blog was going to tell me I didn´t need to lose weight, like ¨why lose weight?¨ And I was really bummed when it was about how to get pumped about losing weight, then I thought about this…
¨I want to lose 20 pounds because then I would be a more normal weight for me, because I want to weigh less, because I don´t like the number associated with my weight because it seems like a fat number because certain people treat it that way.¨ Then, I realized. I don´t give a shit about any of that. I feel like I should lose 20 pounds, and that is probably the dumbest reason to try to lose 20 pounds. Anyways, I´ve decided that I don´t need to lose weight, I just need to stop weighing myself.
Thanks.
Nikki (your kind-of niece)